A couple of Pub Jokes

I'm just a social drinker, every time someone says, "I'll have a drink." I say, "Social I."

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Mary was asleep in bed when her husband, Patrick, crashed through the front door at 3 am, waking her up.
He staggered through the hallway and tried to get up the stairs.

'What are you doing?' Mary shouted.
Patrick replied, 'I'm trying to get this gallon of beer up the stairs.'

'Leave it down there, Patrick', Mary bellowed.

'I can't, 'Patrick replied, 'I've drunk it.'

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Sıgn on the door of Reilly's Pub:



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A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.

"Hey, nice tie!", comes out of nowhere.
He looks up at the barman to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man figures it can't be him and turns his attention back to his drink.

"Hey! nice shirt! That colour really suits you." The man looks up but the barman is still elsewhere engaged.

" And, hey, nice jacket! It really fits you well! Getting angry, the man then calls the barman over and asks him why he keeps talking to him.

"Oh, that's not me, sir, it's the complimentary peanuts", said the barman.